||[Jun. 2nd, 2007|12:28 am]
watch out, this is crazy... 2 updates in 1 week. whats goin on!!|
haha, too badly this is hardly an update of anything vital or intriguing; i am just emo i suppose. just thinkin bout some nonsense and curious as to how everything will work out. no i shouldn't say that. whatever.
what i mean is that with this damn relationship its always looking forward to something, looking into the future. but doesn't there come a point to where you gotta love where you are at and stop looking forward to the future?! its so twisted! i just wanna enjoy the present... and i do, i mean, i really do, but there are nights like these where i just can't stand it. i can't stand missing someone this much. then im straight up trippin like, how do i love someone that i have barely seen this semester. idk. this sounds like such a negative entry, which in text is true, but honestly im just so... confused? i don't want to say that. but i think its the best way to explain it. cuz i sit here like a fool all messed up with these feelings, its sooooo lame. now i know why i was living it up with the single life and just dating around, never having anything serious. its more carefree and fun that way. anyway, my point is, this blows. i don't understand how it happened or how i fell for someone i barely see, but it sucks. its such a great thing when im talking to him or whatever, but on these nights.. wow, it just sucks. the last 3.5 weeks haven't been that bad. and its like ya 5 weeks i go to see him! woooo!!!!! but 5 weeks never seemed as long as they do tonight..
hell tho, i'd rather take all these shitty feelings over all the fights others encounter with long distance lol its nice.. its wonderful having a peaceful relationship. it really is. i used to think it was impossible lol but then again, maybe thats just cuz we don't see each other frequently. aw well, no sense wondering! just have to find out
this helped a bit. people want me to go out and party, but idk bout that.. im just not in the mood for it tonight. especially when its gonna be someone who is tryin to get a piece... and all my friends are in for the night :-( soooooooo yaaa lol looks like me and my bed have quite the date tonight! lol
other than that, same shit. went from working 34 hours a week to 22 in span of 3 hours at work the other day, so that was pretty cool (aka i lost a day) my shopping addiction needs to be fed but its pretty hard when you only have $700, owe your parents $1000, and are tryin to buy a plane ticket to finland that will cost approximately 1300, if im lucky. so glad i got cut from my 3rd day. oh well. and i need a new camera since i was too drunk and broke mine.
thats it, this is exactly what i didnt wanna do, talk about random shit. im out. keep it real!